Rotary held Hostage by Pirate
The nortorious pirate William W. "Wet Willie" Walker rushed into the September 23rd meeting of the Northern Neck Rotary Club and held the entire club hostage for an extended period listening to his facetiously accurate exploits during his sailing days on the Rappahannock River. Wet Willie was volunteered ( though he called it being shandhaied) to become a hand on the good ship "Wanderin' Hands" which roved the area plundering and pillaging.
As a member of a ship's crew Wet Willie had to WORK. It seems he spent most of his career as a depth finder for the ship. If the captain was afraid of shallow water the crew would strap a cannon ball to his belly and tie a rope to his leg and throw him overboard and count the knots on the rope as he hit bottom. Willie said that it was bad when the water was too deep.......or too shallow.
At the end of his "enlistment", he was thrown overboard and washed up on the beaches at Belle Isle. "I thought the ship would return and take his bones home for a proper burial but it has been 350 years now and I don't think they are coming back", said Wet Willie.
Willie paused for a pull on his bottle of grog, normally watered down rum or rumed up water, which is in his case reclaimed embalming fluid. Then he resumed descriptions of battles with the likes of Captain Jack Sparrow, Edward Teach, Captain Morgan and others. It seems that many of the captains of the Wanderin' Hands were ancestors of club members and the current generation are their namesakes.
Wet Willie showed the effects of a hard life as a pirate in his dress and his physical and mental state. He attributed his longivity to his philosophy of being "cautiously brave" when not scared to death.
Club President Davis Smith at last jumped to the member's rescue by presenting Wet Willie with a writting instrument. Willie allowed as how he could make an X and couldn't read. Smith then read the four points of the Rotary Four Way test: Is it the Truth; Is it Fair to all concerned; Will it build Goodwill and better Friendships; and will it be Beneficial to all concerned. This attacked the code of honor of pirates and shook Willie to his very core so he retreated to fight another day. As he departed tourists in front of Lee's Restaurant were seen trying to capture a picture of Wet Willie with a camera, a very difficult task to get a picture of a ghost.
Scientist speculate that Wet Willie's appearance had something to do with the full moon appearing on the Autumnal equinox. It is rumored that during other moon phases during daylight that Wet Willie may be seen impersonating Park Ranger Mike Lambert at Bell Isle State Park. A visit to the park may result in a sighting.
The Northern Neck Rotary Club meets at Lee's Restaurant on Main Street, Kilmarnock at 7:30AM on Wednesdays. Visitors to the club might be surprised by the goin's-on there.